Hard to believe

Hard to believe that school will officially be in session on Monday!

After what has felt like nearly a month long vacation here in Antigua, I must admit.. Settling into a more permanent schedule sounds kind of tempting. (I know, I know..  I'm going to completely regret saying that by the end of next week..!) This past week, Mona and I attended teacher work days at the Christian American School and thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the other teachers, learning about the school climate and expectations, and just over all getting back into the swing of teaching. Before the work days started, I had a few definite moments where I thought to myself, "Wait, I have to teach? But I kind of like this life of leisure.. strolling through the city streets at 1 in the afternoon, making spontaneous coffee dates, sleeping in until 9:30.." However, the moment I stepped back into a school setting, any of those lingering feelings of reservation were immediately ameliorated. :-) I'm going to be teaching 14 first graders-- 11 boys and 3 girls! I've always joked that I would love to have more sons than daughters one day, but THIS ratio of boys to girls is a litttttle outrageous. I can't wait to see how the dynamic plays out.. Without a doubt, there will be many funny stories to come! In addition to my 14 first graders, I also will be teaching a section of 5th grade math (which, ironically, is the exact subject and grade that I taught during Summer School through CCPS! I love when things work out like that! :-), as well as a section of Beginner ESL (English as a Second Language) for students in grades 5-8. As completely and utterly ECSTATIC as I am about getting to know all of my 1st grade monkeys and the rest of my kiddos, there are a few things that I've been thrown off a little by.. Teaching at a Guatemalan school, although its curriculum is based off the Common Core standards and California state standards, is definitely not 100% what the Curry School (or really, any of my respective education) has prepared me for.

1. Language Arts is scheduled for about 45 minutes each day.  .......(cricket)....... Yep, you heard me. Considering I'm teaching first grade, and literacy and writing are about as important as subjects come in this grade, my mind is boggled as to how I'm going to set up such a short Language Arts period. Forget about Guided Reading as we would normally think of it-- the school doesn't provide us with (and I surely didn't bring) multiple copies of leveled readers. And Word Study? Unless I want to make up my own word lists, you can forget that, too. Even independent reading is difficult! There's no way I could pack a small library of sorts in my already overflowing suit cases (seriously... I meant it when I say "overflowing"), and while CAS has a wonderful supply of books to offer, it doesn't have quiiiite enough to truly equip each room with it's own "library." It's actually all kind of humorous to me. I went to a great school, got an amazing degree, and now am starting virtually at the ground up, incorporating only tidbits of what I learned into my Language Arts block.. (Sorry, Smolkin!)
2. Because we all live in Antigua and teach in ciudad San Cristobal, which are about 30 minutes apart, all of the teachers arrive at and depart from CAS together. Don't get me wrong- I really enjoy taking in the scenery during the car rides to and from (or at least those that I manage to stay awake during..) and everyone's wonderful company! My only reservation is simply that I know myself and my inclination to arrive to school early and stay late to do work isn't really conducive to arriving at 715 (when the kids come at 730) and leaving at 345 (when the kids leave at 320). Maybe, though, this is a blessing in disguise preventing me from otherwise camping out at the school day in and day out......... which I sadly could see myself doing.
3. In general, resources are scarce. Like I said, there was just no feasible way to bring down many resources. Similarly, I am refusing to let myself (though I do feel slightly tempted to..) buy a bunch of stuff down here, that I know I won't be able to reuse in the future. I literally made everything in my class by hand (the calendar? yes. the name tags? yes. the behavior management plan? yes. ev-er-y-thing.) I don't say this to complain, but only because I worry that with the limited time I have at school, I won't always be able to, on a whim, craft by hand these items that I otherwise, in America, could go out and quickly purchase. Makes me so appreciative of these conveniences in the States!

On a positive note, there are so many things about teaching at CAS (or perhaps just in a private school in general) that I am LOVING! (I figured I'd start with the "low" notes and end with the "highs." :-)

1. Seriously never realized what I was missing out on (as both a student and a teacher) when I attended/taught at public schools. Obviously I received an incredible education in public schools and am a HUGE advocate of them, but man oh man... it is just so great to be able to talk about faith so openly and not have to worry about putting such an important part of your life on a "shelf" when you step into the workplace. We started off every teacher work day with a prayer, followed by a staff devotion. Some days, our Director (who interestingly enough attended Liberty University!) lead the devotion and other days a staff member lead it. Mona and I had the opportunity to share on Friday and I think I speak for both of us when I say it was a really great experience. Even as I decorated my classroom today, I was keenly aware of the fact that I was hanging things on my walls that otherwise wouldn't be acceptable in public schools. (For example- the sunshine that I have hanging in the front center of my room that reads, "Smile - Jesus loves you!" ... Somehow, I don't think that would fly...) Suffice it to say, I love, love, love that my faith can coexist so naturally in my workplace and am not taking a single second of it for granted. :-)
2. The people. Every single person I've met so far has been such a bright light. We've all been out after school a few times together, and the group just meshes so well together. Here's a few of the teachers from when we went out Tuesday night together to Mono Loco

Urian, Moriah, and Lanae 
Taken at Mono Loco (which, by the way is owned by a UVA grad!)

 The magically disappearing nachos we indulged in. Now you see them..

Now you don't. ;-)

andddd... one final gem from the back of our tuk-tuk escapade.. 
Erin (sorry for only getting half of your face!), me, Mona, and Julie

 Ms. Walker with sweet Abby and Dulce
(Side note: Don't our classrooms look like something pulled straight out of Little House on the Prairie? They are so fun!)

Mr. Smith getting settled into his 4th grade classroom. :-)


3. The FREEDOM from STANDARDIZED TESTING! (I hate to rub it in.. but I know I'll be back to the US in a year and will be right along side y'all!) It's so nice to use the state standards as a guide for instruction but not be absolutely wedded to them. Also, what a relief it is to know that my worth as an instructor at the end of the year is not going to be measured by the statistics of a single assessment. Was this what teaching used to be like?? Hard to believe that teaching used to exist beyond the pressures of testing... I pray that one that day the US will see something similar to this, because it really is so liberating!

I think that's it for now. I'll update more after school is underway to let y'all know how much 11:3 boy to girl ratio is working out. ;-) Also, Mona and I are hoping to add on salsa lessons to our Guate cultural events in the near future, so that should be a ton of fun. We are definitely not feeling "bored" any more- between Spanish lessons three times a week, church events, teaching every day, making time to actually socialize with new friends, and (hopefully!) soon salsa lessons- we really are trying to take advantage of everything possible! As always, thank you for supporting and encouraging me throughout this adventure-- it sounds cheesy, but hearing from y'all really does make my day. As much as I'm loving every second of this phase, I love just as much- if not more- knowing that life outside of this adventure still has a place for me. :-) This week, would you mind praying for Mona and I in the following ways: continued trust in the Lord that He has a great plan for us (despite constant little bumps in the road that often make us lament about our conditions.. ha), patience (as there are still many kinks to work out with planning, scheduling, and executing this upcoming week), and finally, through it all, to share His love with those with whom we're interacting (students, fellow teachers, new friends, strangers.. the list goes on. :-).

All my love!

Poco a poco.. (Little by little..)

Poco a poco is the theme of this post. :-) Allow me to explain the reasons why..

1.) Spanish lessons

It began with Mona and I starting Spanish lessons this week at a wonderful school, "La Academia Sevilla." We both hit it off incredibly well with our maestros; Jenri, my teacher, is the absolute sweetest-- so patient with all of my remedial Spanish errors and overall reluctance to confidently speak what Spanish I (should) know. He has taught at Sevilla for nearly 12 years, has worked with students from all over the world, and lives nearby with his wife and two children who are about my age. From what I've gathered, Jenri just seems like a very wise man with a genuinely wonderful heart. Tuesday was my first day of class with him and about half way through my lesson, he asked me what should have been a very simple question: "What exactly do you want to accomplish during your lessons with me?" I thought about this for a few moments. What did I want? I know all of the grammar forms; maybe I could use a review? I know enough vocabulary to thrive in the city; maybe I could benefit from a more specialized vocabulary? I even know some idioms- but maybe I should learn some more "lenguaje de la calle" (street Spanish)? None of these reasons seem to really hit the nail on the head. Why am I here? And then it came to me. It is so frustrating to me to have so many things I want to say but am unable to successfully convey. What I basically told Jenri is that I just want to be able to feel like myself. I want to be able to express myself, and I want to feel like I have a personality when I speak Spanish. I explained that I feel like my English identity is virtually nonexistent because the things I would normally say in my first language come out sounding simplified and immature in my second language. My "voice" isn't really conveyed, because although I can communicate sufficiently, I can't add the same expression that I otherwise would in English. Instead of being my normal chatty self, my Spanish self seems shy, reserved, and just generally watered down. Jenri just chuckled a little bit, smiled at me, and said (in Spanish, of course), "Come here.." Curiously, I leaned forward a bit across the table at which we were sitting, as though he was going to reveal to me the answer, the key, the resolution to my lack of voice and expression. He drew closer to me and whispered, "Poco a poco, Cristina.." (Side note: Nobody here can quite master "Kristen" so I have been officially dubbed "Cristina.") It struck me that he was right. I desperately want to accomplish so many things here in Antigua-- my Spanish skills being one of them-- and I've gotten very quickly discouraged with not seeing results quickly. It has been TWO weeks, I have reminded myself.. What kind of time schedule do I think I'm working on here?! Perhaps instead of talking so much, this is my opportunity to listen-- to hear others' hearts and simply respond with my actions rather than limited vocabulary. I'm still trying to figure it all out, but I can't help but wonder how much more I'll be able to hear when I'm not so busy trying to speak... It's interesting to me that it has taken learning a second language for me to realize that maybe there is a season for talking and a season for listening. I never had really considered this so literally in my first language (or ever metaphorically...), because I took having the opportunity to converse so easily for granted! Clearly, I need to take these early weeks in Guate as my opportunity to just listen.

La Academia Sevilla

(Next post, I will try to post a picture of Jenri and me!)

2.) Friendships

We started off in Antigua knowing nobody. And by nobody, I literally mean no-bo-dy. For two girls who are normally social butterflies, Mona and I felt like social outcasts for a while there. (Hence why we bought Cheeky.. we legitimately needed some form of companionship and were willing to settle on a chicken!) It has been so incredible to begin forming relationships with people in Antigua, poco a poco. Despite sometimes wondering why we came so early to Antigua before the start of the school year, Mona and I have really embraced it as an opportunity to get together with new friends each day-- we can't imagine trying to meet/make friends after the chaos of school has begun, so this time has truly been a blessing! We have made a concerted effort to follow up with virtually every person we've met (this is not a joke.. haha) and have spent the better part of this week going on coffee or dinner dates, getting to know people from Sevilla, Iglesia del Cristo, and other places around town that we frequent! At times, I still feel a bit lonely and miss my "people" back in the US, but I know there are so many wonderful people here who have already opened their hearts to us who deserve our love and energy in return. I can't wait to get to know them (and others!) more in the coming days, weeks, months.. year?! (Still is crazy to me that I'm here for a year.. haha.)

3.) Understanding the Lord's will for us here

While I'm perfectly fine with still not understanding how best to continue following Him, there have already been so many little things that the Lord has revealed to Mona and me that are so exciting and refreshing. Here are just a few that have been on our hearts and in our discussions the past week or so:

• He has shown us exactly those things that we need and those that we don't. 
• There are so many things that I've subconsciously thought were just  "part" of me that I already see as so dispensable. I feel like I've already been stripped of so many material things-- for safety reasons, I never wear jewelry anymore (in fact, I look sort of like a hippie with my multiple braided/ beaded bracelets that I now wear in place of my previously staple silvers and golds), my blonde hair is an afterthought as I'm now an au natural mousy brown, any "fashion" I used to pride myself in is sort of a joke now, as the goal here is definitely more to fit in rather to stand out (also for safety purposes). Even down to the food we're eating, we're getting just what we need and nothing more. (We actually had a PBJ the other day and Mona and I both swore it was the best PBJ we'd ever had in our lives, because we've just been living off of organic vegetables, fruits, toast, and the occasional coffee or dessert (!!!!) when we go out.) At Bible Study on Thursday night, our Pastor, Raul, discussed manna (very bland, plain bread that the Israelites lived off of while traveling to Egypt) and Mona and I quietly laughed to ourselves thinking about our modern day, manna-like diet, haha. Also for example, I mentioned earlier how I felt like my outgoing, bubbly nature was part of my identity .. Clearly, I was wrong because that can easily be taken away, too! It's crazy to me to think about all the things (and so many more than I didn't even mention) that I've felt like defined me that actually have nothing to do with my true identity. I actually feel so purified and refreshed without so many of these things that only a month ago I believed to simply be part of my life and part of who I was as a person. You think that your identity is in Christ until all of your "familiar stuff" is stripped away and you realize how much you previously relied on it, without even consciously knowing it. (That's, at least, how I've seen it. :-)) I've got to say... it's liberating to live beyond those confines.
• God is soo big.
• I know, I know.. you're thinking, "Well, of course He is..?" Seriously though, He spans all geographic borders, all cultural norms, all language barriers (thankfully for me :-)), all personality types, ev-er-y-thing. Mona and I are sitting in Bible Study last night, studying the similarities between Passover and and Christ's sacrifice (in Spanish, mind you), singing "La Sangre de Jesus" (sound familiar? It's "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.."), and it kind of just hit me.. God is the same everywhere. He is always working, everywhere, and people all over the world share in the same amazement and understanding of Him. Despite my sometimes getting lost or confused in everyday conversation, the messages at church have consistently been clear to me. Our pastor read a verse from Mateo (gotta love the Spanish-named books of the Bible, haha) tonight and even though I hadn't caught exactly what chapter or verse it was, I immediately recognized it to be about communion and could find comfort in the knowledge that I knew we all shared, despite it being presented differently than what I was used to. And listening to a group of people passionately sing hymns in another language? Pretty dang cool, I must say.
• He works on His time.
• I have heard this before many time, but really... I'm seeing this play out. He is working poco a poco on my heart and in my life.. and there is no beginning or end to His work. For no reason should I expect the Lord of Lords, Creator of all things in this world, the Author of Salvation to give me a play by play of what He is doing.. Clearly, He's got it all under control and I have the gift of sitting back and enjoying every season that He gives me (even my listening season), because I know He works for the good of those who love Him. :-)

So..

Mona and I both have agreed that there is no way that we are not going to grow- in every sense of the word- over this upcoming year. Our growth- linguistically, spiritually, physically, professionally and mentally- will not be overnight but rather poco a poco. 

What are you eager for that the Lord may be working on "poco a poco?"

I promise more pictures next time and less of a soap box! (I think I got a little carried away towards the end.. haha. Just things that have been on my mind!)

All my love!