1.) Spanish lessons
It began with Mona and I starting Spanish lessons this week at a wonderful school, "La Academia Sevilla." We both hit it off incredibly well with our maestros; Jenri, my teacher, is the absolute sweetest-- so patient with all of my remedial Spanish errors and overall reluctance to confidently speak what Spanish I (should) know. He has taught at Sevilla for nearly 12 years, has worked with students from all over the world, and lives nearby with his wife and two children who are about my age. From what I've gathered, Jenri just seems like a very wise man with a genuinely wonderful heart. Tuesday was my first day of class with him and about half way through my lesson, he asked me what should have been a very simple question: "What exactly do you want to accomplish during your lessons with me?" I thought about this for a few moments. What did I want? I know all of the grammar forms; maybe I could use a review? I know enough vocabulary to thrive in the city; maybe I could benefit from a more specialized vocabulary? I even know some idioms- but maybe I should learn some more "lenguaje de la calle" (street Spanish)? None of these reasons seem to really hit the nail on the head. Why am I here? And then it came to me. It is so frustrating to me to have so many things I want to say but am unable to successfully convey. What I basically told Jenri is that I just want to be able to feel like myself. I want to be able to express myself, and I want to feel like I have a personality when I speak Spanish. I explained that I feel like my English identity is virtually nonexistent because the things I would normally say in my first language come out sounding simplified and immature in my second language. My "voice" isn't really conveyed, because although I can communicate sufficiently, I can't add the same expression that I otherwise would in English. Instead of being my normal chatty self, my Spanish self seems shy, reserved, and just generally watered down. Jenri just chuckled a little bit, smiled at me, and said (in Spanish, of course), "Come here.." Curiously, I leaned forward a bit across the table at which we were sitting, as though he was going to reveal to me the answer, the key, the resolution to my lack of voice and expression. He drew closer to me and whispered, "Poco a poco, Cristina.." (Side note: Nobody here can quite master "Kristen" so I have been officially dubbed "Cristina.") It struck me that he was right. I desperately want to accomplish so many things here in Antigua-- my Spanish skills being one of them-- and I've gotten very quickly discouraged with not seeing results quickly. It has been TWO weeks, I have reminded myself.. What kind of time schedule do I think I'm working on here?! Perhaps instead of talking so much, this is my opportunity to listen-- to hear others' hearts and simply respond with my actions rather than limited vocabulary. I'm still trying to figure it all out, but I can't help but wonder how much more I'll be able to hear when I'm not so busy trying to speak... It's interesting to me that it has taken learning a second language for me to realize that maybe there is a season for talking and a season for listening. I never had really considered this so literally in my first language (or ever metaphorically...), because I took having the opportunity to converse so easily for granted! Clearly, I need to take these early weeks in Guate as my opportunity to just listen.
La Academia Sevilla
(Next post, I will try to post a picture of Jenri and me!)
2.) Friendships
We started off in Antigua knowing nobody. And by nobody, I literally mean no-bo-dy. For two girls who are normally social butterflies, Mona and I felt like social outcasts for a while there. (Hence why we bought Cheeky.. we legitimately needed some form of companionship and were willing to settle on a chicken!) It has been so incredible to begin forming relationships with people in Antigua, poco a poco. Despite sometimes wondering why we came so early to Antigua before the start of the school year, Mona and I have really embraced it as an opportunity to get together with new friends each day-- we can't imagine trying to meet/make friends after the chaos of school has begun, so this time has truly been a blessing! We have made a concerted effort to follow up with virtually every person we've met (this is not a joke.. haha) and have spent the better part of this week going on coffee or dinner dates, getting to know people from Sevilla, Iglesia del Cristo, and other places around town that we frequent! At times, I still feel a bit lonely and miss my "people" back in the US, but I know there are so many wonderful people here who have already opened their hearts to us who deserve our love and energy in return. I can't wait to get to know them (and others!) more in the coming days, weeks, months.. year?! (Still is crazy to me that I'm here for a year.. haha.)
3.) Understanding the Lord's will for us here
While I'm perfectly fine with still not understanding how best to continue following Him, there have already been so many little things that the Lord has revealed to Mona and me that are so exciting and refreshing. Here are just a few that have been on our hearts and in our discussions the past week or so:- He has shown us exactly those things that we need and those that we don't.
- There are so many things that I've subconsciously thought were just "part" of me that I already see as so dispensable. I feel like I've already been stripped of so many material things-- for safety reasons, I never wear jewelry anymore (in fact, I look sort of like a hippie with my multiple braided/ beaded bracelets that I now wear in place of my previously staple silvers and golds), my blonde hair is an afterthought as I'm now an au natural mousy brown, any "fashion" I used to pride myself in is sort of a joke now, as the goal here is definitely more to fit in rather to stand out (also for safety purposes). Even down to the food we're eating, we're getting just what we need and nothing more. (We actually had a PBJ the other day and Mona and I both swore it was the best PBJ we'd ever had in our lives, because we've just been living off of organic vegetables, fruits, toast, and the occasional coffee or dessert (!!!!) when we go out.) At Bible Study on Thursday night, our Pastor, Raul, discussed manna (very bland, plain bread that the Israelites lived off of while traveling to Egypt) and Mona and I quietly laughed to ourselves thinking about our modern day, manna-like diet, haha. Also for example, I mentioned earlier how I felt like my outgoing, bubbly nature was part of my identity .. Clearly, I was wrong because that can easily be taken away, too! It's crazy to me to think about all the things (and so many more than I didn't even mention) that I've felt like defined me that actually have nothing to do with my true identity. I actually feel so purified and refreshed without so many of these things that only a month ago I believed to simply be part of my life and part of who I was as a person. You think that your identity is in Christ until all of your "familiar stuff" is stripped away and you realize how much you previously relied on it, without even consciously knowing it. (That's, at least, how I've seen it. :-)) I've got to say... it's liberating to live beyond those confines.
- God is soo big.
- I know, I know.. you're thinking, "Well, of course He is..?" Seriously though, He spans all geographic borders, all cultural norms, all language barriers (thankfully for me :-)), all personality types, ev-er-y-thing. Mona and I are sitting in Bible Study last night, studying the similarities between Passover and and Christ's sacrifice (in Spanish, mind you), singing "La Sangre de Jesus" (sound familiar? It's "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.."), and it kind of just hit me.. God is the same everywhere. He is always working, everywhere, and people all over the world share in the same amazement and understanding of Him. Despite my sometimes getting lost or confused in everyday conversation, the messages at church have consistently been clear to me. Our pastor read a verse from Mateo (gotta love the Spanish-named books of the Bible, haha) tonight and even though I hadn't caught exactly what chapter or verse it was, I immediately recognized it to be about communion and could find comfort in the knowledge that I knew we all shared, despite it being presented differently than what I was used to. And listening to a group of people passionately sing hymns in another language? Pretty dang cool, I must say.
- He works on His time.
- I have heard this before many time, but really... I'm seeing this play out. He is working poco a poco on my heart and in my life.. and there is no beginning or end to His work. For no reason should I expect the Lord of Lords, Creator of all things in this world, the Author of Salvation to give me a play by play of what He is doing.. Clearly, He's got it all under control and I have the gift of sitting back and enjoying every season that He gives me (even my listening season), because I know He works for the good of those who love Him. :-)
So..
Mona and I both have agreed that there is no way that we are not going to grow- in every sense of the word- over this upcoming year. Our growth- linguistically, spiritually, physically, professionally and mentally- will not be overnight but rather poco a poco.
What are you eager for that the Lord may be working on "poco a poco?"
I promise more pictures next time and less of a soap box! (I think I got a little carried away towards the end.. haha. Just things that have been on my mind!)
All my love!
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